My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
