I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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