I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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