What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
