My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
