from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
People with herpes should wear stickers.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
