He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We got so high we made milksteak
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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