Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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