Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
