She went from zero to smokin in five shots
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
