i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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