I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
