I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
