dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
