i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
