Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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