He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
