Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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