I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
