I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
