I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
