i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
