her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
