Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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