I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
