okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
