apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
