He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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