Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
