You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
