Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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