this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
