You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
