did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
