The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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