There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
