$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
