where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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