I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
