I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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