I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
