I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
