I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
