I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
