No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
