i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
P.S. I can't hear my feet
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
