hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
