Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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