Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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