i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
