If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
