so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
