I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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